If you're ever in Washington, D.C.

 The first time I ever went to Washington, D.C. was to with Chris for a quick weekend get-away. We had THE BEST time checking out monuments, the memorials, the capitol, museums and the the White house.

I made such a huge deal about how fascinating D.C. was and implored my dad take the family. Fortunately, dad heeded my persistent badgering and we were all booked (minus Christian who had to work) on a flight to D.C. for the Summer of 2010.

Chris and I in front of the White house on our first D.C. visit.

Since I felt like such a D.C. pro, I made sure the fam went to all the good spots. We hit up museums and places like the George (real typo and it stays) Jefferson memorial:

Yes I accidentally just typed "George" Jefferson instead of Thomas... OBVIOUSLY I need to go back.

We stood in "bread line" at the F.D.R. memorial ......

Andrew is trying to show some love to the bread line man.

We felt awe and deep respect at Arlington Cemetery: 

We even cooled our feet in the WWII memorial.....

....while still paying the utmost respects, of course.

Don't be jealous when you see this next picture:

Yes, that is Ryan Howard of the Phillies, and our good friend Ross Detwiler, of the Nationals.

Ross was kind enough to get us tickets and meet us in the "family area" after the game.

Right before this picture I said to 'ol Ryan: "Don't be frightened, I'm going to put my arm on you."

He just said: "Ok."

Even though it rained, we still enjoyed the Natural History Museum. After all, 

...we had protection. 

Regrettably, after I insisted we buy these, it almost immediately stopped raining. 

The very best thing, that I  DEMAND you do if you go to D.C. is the Segway tour. It was spur of the moment for us to go, and I'll NEVER forget my awesome experience.

 We were divided into groups of 7-8,  and given a 15 minute lesson on how to control these 'probably robots from the future' machines: 

My mom's face says: "Oh you've GOT to be kidding me. How did I get roped into this?!"

Dad's face says: I'm ready to Segway.....like a BOSS.

Before you get on a segway, they warn you about the "Segway dance."
 If you don't keep your balance centered you will end up rocking forwards/backwards/forwards/backwards/forwards until you calm the hell down and stand still. As it turns out, Segways are extremely touchy.

I'm smiling, but inside I'm TERRIFIED. I let that piece of hair hang in my face for an hour because I had a death-grip on the handles.

After our VERY SHORT tutorial, off we went to tour D.C.: 

First photo-op. It should be noted that Andrew Segways like he drives.....terribly.

Something happened that day that is still in the "McDaniel/Taylor Hall of Fame."

**I should say that I am terrible and can't help but laugh HYSTERICALLY when someone falls, trips, etc. My favorite show of all time is America's Funniest Home Videos. It's not that the person is getting hurt, but how they fell, triped, etc.**

It all started with a Hasidic Jewish man, who was part of another Segway tour.

I thought his faith wouldn't allow him to even ride Segways, then Chris reminded me that was the Amish.

Jacob (his real name) was on the corner on his segway, waiting for the rest of his group, when his buddy (who was on his cellphone and NOT paying attention) rolled on up and SMACKED into the curb. He then went FLYING into the air thus releasing his grip on his Segway which was also flying through the air. This moment is funny enough by itself, but poor Jacob was on the receiving end of the out of control Segway. 

His buddy kind of looked like this, but with more a freaked out face.

I saw the terror in Jacob's eyes as his friend's Segway collided with his own. He immediately tried to gain control. Bad move, Jacob; bad move.

Rather than hop off quickly and let the machine do it's thing, he stayed on; and did the best version of the "Segway Dance" I think anyone has every seen. My dad dubbed it the "Bucking Bronco." He literally looked like a cartoon. BACKWARDS/FORWARDS/BACKWARDS/FORWARDS/BACKWARDS/ FORWARDS, he almost touched the ground each time. After he regained control, the tour guides made sure everyone was ok. 

I, however, was not concerned with the well-being of anyone and immediately turned around to Chris and said: "OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD." and tried not to lose it right there in front of poor Jacob, who just suffered a traumatic experience. 

Finally my group crossed the street away from Jacob, and I was allowed to let the laughter (that was torturing me) out. I laughed so hard and so much the rest of the tour (no lie 30 more minutes with this cackling hyena), our guide said: "Did you stop at a comedy show I don't know about?" then at the end of the tour, he said: "Geez. I'll never forget that laugh!" (I told him it would haunt his dreams). Even while typing this I'm laughing hysterically......

Since you weren't there to enjoy poor Jacob's worst moment in his life with me, I leave you with this visual (please don't judge me):

So next time you're in D.C. go ahead, give the Segways a try! You never know what calamities you might witness (or cause). Also, please film it if someone you know falls- I promise I won't laugh.....