Way back when 4th edition....

Fun fact about me: I have had a million different jobs in my lifetime. No, seriously. I've been a waitress, a mad scientist, a speech therapist, a make-up artist, an office assistant, and a cell phone salesperson just to name a few.....this would get boring very quickly if I named them all.

  One of the easiest jobs I had was working at Build-a-Bear workshops. Other than occasionally having to stand in front of the store while singing really stupid songs to lure in customers and sticking a metal tube up a bear's butt to fill it with fluff, it was a pretty sweet gig.

This is not me, but this is basically what I looked like. Except I was thinking: "I'm so sorry if I'm traumatizing you in anyway, little girl!" 

One of the drawbacks of working this job was it's location: the mall. The only mall for 60 miles. You can imagine my delight when I realized I chose to begin this job at the PERFECT time....the Holidays. Not only did I get to deal with crabby crowds, rude co-workers, and upset "because this coupon that expired 10 days ago should still count" customers, I met my arch nemesis: the mall parking lot.

If you remember, my dear reader, I suffer from the frustration that comes with EVERYONE ELSE sucking at driving, some call it Road Rage. You can read how I combat this affliction here. Since I'm sure you've experienced Holiday parking lots yourself, you can understand my complete happiness when Chris started dropping me off and picking me up from work. 

Little did I know, one fateful night that Holiday season, Chris had a plan. He picked me up and drove me to his house for a "Christmas surprise"....he hopped out of the car told me to count to 60 then enter. I counted to 30 and walked in. I was surprised when it was NOT the world's biggest pizza awaiting me like I thought, but this: 

Well something like this. It was more of a blanket fort-maze. I crawled in and followed the path. I made it to Chris who was on his knees and beginning his 'will you marry me' speech. I opened another door and Betty was there with a ring on her collar. And just like "boom goes the dynamite", we were engaged. 

Oh I loved being engaged, let me tell you! Fighting with my mother, making decisions like roses or hydrangeas or cake vs. cupcakes and finding the exact hue of blue I had in my head (my mom and I swore we'd never say: "That color blue" ever again for our own sanity) was right up my alley.
HOWEVER, one of the best things of being engaged is the bridal shower. I showed you how to have an awesome baby shower, NOW let me show you how to have kick-ass bridal shower.

Remember how I really love cake and non-traditional parties? I definitely got both with a 50's cocktail dress party/shower: 

Me and my maids of honor rockin' our cocktail attire...

If my Aunt Deanna and cousin Rachelle, ask if they can throw you a wedding shower, say yes because it will RADIATE with awesomeness: 

Hello fabulous food table and hello fabulous ladies!

Me with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law looking very 50's cocktail hour-y: 

This was the "Chris and Jess" table with a bulletin board full of old/fun pictures. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to find the picture of Chris, as a little boy, showing his sa-weet belly.

Notice the doll house that says "Love Shack"? Yeah, that was my idea...I'm totally great at this.

Gentlemen: If you're significant other is having a bridal shower in her honor.....

.....do yourself a favor and surprise her with flowers. 

AND NOW....

 for the 'piece de resistance'.....

the culinary masterpiece to end all culinary masterpieces.........

the guest of honor.....

and my favorite part of ANY celebration: 

THE CAKE!

 Oh, you want a close up? No problem!

Just try not to drool on the screen.....

P.S. In exactly 8 days, we will celebrate 3 years of wedded bliss. I've got a pretty cool surprise planned for you so make sure you check back on the best day of the year: December 20th.