Why you should never leave home with your boxer unattended: a lesson learned twice.

I have three loves of my life. Well I take that back, I have many loves -Pizza, Super Mario brothers, painting, beer, old cars, beer, mexican food, facebook, beer, Spinach Artichoke dip...I'm beginning to see why a diet may be neccessary. Back to the issue at hand, my three true blue "never gonna give you up" loves:

This Guy. 

I said: THROW A SNOW BALL AT ME! so he started to and I said: NO NOT REALLY AT ME! OH MY GOD YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!!!

This little lady, Betty. 

Chris bought Betty for me when we were 22, after I begged and begged and begged for a dog. I didn't even know what a pom-poo was, but when I called the breeders about their ad in the paper the lady said: "They're so cute! They look just like little Teddy Bears!" Knowing that this was a no-brainer purchase, I immediately said: "SOLD!", and now I cannot go to the bathroom without her poking her head in to see what I'm doing...(Same thing I was doing last time I was in here, betty!)

And finally.........

this mongrel, Layla. 

Layla came into our lives about two years ago. She has the body of a deer, the speed of a cheetah, the attention span of a child with ADHD who forgets her medicine constantly and the curiosity of every cat that ever lived. She's pretty awesome though, and a good sport. For instance: 

                     She lets me dress her up in an elf costume whenever I feel like doing so.....

                        She does the required acrobatics to come inside JUST to amuse me......

      She's always down for a good time at the lake but, like a good girl, she INSISTS on safety first.

However I had NO idea that Layla hated beyond a shadow of a doubt two things: 

The first: apparently my watercolors, & a tube of gold acrylic paint. 

Who knew? Maybe the colors were taunting her about being a dog, and therefore ,colorblind....

"Red: Ya ya nice try ya doggy, but YOU don't know which one I yam!" I gave red a weird 40's gangster accent in my head for some reason. 

It IS possible that she isn't colorblind at all and just thought the paints were some kind of delicious doggy treat and it was her duty to discover if that was the truth or not..... OR betty tricked her into doing it. The inner workings of her mind shall forever remain a mystery to me.

The second thing she hates, we just discovered:

Fake Pumpkins from Michaels! In the words of my mom: "Who decides to take on a pumpkin?"

We got home to this and Chris tried to use his 'you're in big trouble voice' by saying: "Layla! Your mom got those pumpkins for a good deal at Michaels!"

Layla did show some shame and embarrassment. I was MUCH harsher on her: "YEAH LAYLA! I GOT THOSE FOR A GOOD DEAL YA JERK DOG!" Our disciplining could use some work.

The Shamed Culprit:

"I'm sorry momma, but the little orange one called me fat!" Obviously Layla is tortured and taunted by the various decorations, appliances, art supplies in our house while we are gone.

ALTHOUGH,

the one good thing about having your stuff torn up by a mischievous boxer is....

                                                    they do their very best to apologize....