Programs, a baby and nose pickin' galore!

Remember in this post I told you about my sister-in-law going to give birth any day now? Remember that? Remember I even showed you how to host a totally incredible most amazing baby shower? Remember?! Well she did it. She went and had that baby boy, Jack, yesterday:

Hi baby Jack! That's a sweeeeeeet santa hat you're rockin'!

 I think Amanda is making a frown-ish face because Jack kept squeaking in possible discomfort (or cold) and wouldn't just open his mouth and tell us what he wanted....that or it could be that she just birthed a perfect human being perfectly and would like a nap and for me to stop taking a million pictures....mmmm....nah.

Since Amanda was a little busy with a new baby, SOMEONE needed to represent tonight at Alli's Christmas program. Enter: The Super bad-ass team of Uncle Chris, Aunt Jess and Nana! 

The view from my back porch tonight, told me it was going to be a BRILLIANT Christmas program.

Here's the thing: I'm a professional when it comes to these programs. Since kindergarten, I've had some school or extra-curricular activity that required showmanship and singing on my part:

and sometimes wrapping myself up as a present is necessary for the sake of the show....

Alli is just now getting into the time of Holiday programs in her academic career, and I'm just now getting to experience these programs as a spectator. Oh dear. 

Who knew it could bring out the worst in somebody......and by somebody I mean me.

You know how I suffer from the stupidity of other drivers, also known as 'Road Rage'? Evidently I suffer from 'crowd rage' as well:

Ok so it's crowded. That's fine. I can handle that. Right? RIGHT?! At least I have my own sea- Seriously 6'7 guy?! You have to sit RIGHT in front of ME?! Rude. 

Looking around, I realized something:

I hate all these people. 

Where is whistley when I need him!?

And then there was THIS lady: 

Ohhhh Grandma. You need to sit down RIGHT NOW. Quit standing up every 8 seconds to get a picture of your dumb grandchild. I'm sure Alli is way cuter anyways, and you're completely blocking her. Have you NEVER heard of 'crowd rage'!?

Fortunately, the cuteness of these darling little darlings singing their darling hearts out to darling songs AND waving like monkeys at their parents from the stage, melted my heart and distracted me from my Bruce Banner type anger.

What? You want to make a chocolate sundae for Santa? AND sing a song about hip-hop reindeer?! You're all just so cute! Look at you in your fancy santa hat picking your nose! What a doll!

Oh no. Are my eyes tricking me? What's that on the program? Could it be? A song written just for me? I think it might be....

IT IS! A SONG JUST FOR ME!

Seriously, this song describes my relationship with pizza with incredible accuracy.

Do you think it's available on iTunes??

The show was wonderful. Alli had her supreme team supporters to cheer her on, and she sang her little heart out like a boss. 

The only problem? The program ended, and everyone decided to leave at the same time: 

Welcome to my nightmare.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

How to have an awesome baby shower....

My sister-in-law is expecting a baby boy in December, and we sisters-in-laws took it upon ourselves  to throw her a kick-ass baby shower (can you say kick-ass when discussing baby showers?)

Chhhiiieeeffsss!! I mean....GO ROYALS! No, wait....CARDSSSS!!

I'm never a big fan of anything traditional, so a St. Louis Cardinals theme (2011 World Series Champs no big deal-you go Missouri!) was perfect for this celebration. 

 I love all showers, why? One simple, glorious, happy word: CAKE. 

 

Baby Jack's cake was SUPPOSED to go: 'ball, bat, ball, bat, ball', separately in their own squares, but somehow that concept got lost in translation and we got a ball/bat combination in EACH square. 

Honestly,  I didn't care because that meant MORE frosting for me!  I even managed to snag a corner piece to really double up on that delicious frosting goodness.....Stick with me kid, I'll show you how to live it up right!

The Guest of Honor.....

Umm, Amanda? Can you please get out of the picture? I'm trying to get a shot of the guest of honor. That's it, now tilt it up just a bit more more.... Oh ok fine. I guess you can be the guest of honor, sister!

I have an extreme need for photos to look candid and unplanned.....

Amanda is making this 'trying not to laugh' face because she started to smile when she saw me taking a picture and I literally yelled at her: "NO! I'M TAKING A CANDID PHOTO! ACT NATURALLY!"

As you can see, I am a master photographer......

A MUCH better candid photo if I do say so myself.

The two pretty ladies on the left are my fellow 'aunts' and shower throwers. The two on the right are baby Jack's cousins. It was quite the family affair.

 

The day continued on and presents were given....

...much laughter and fun was had....

And we FINALLY got to eat the cake. 

Where is the picture you ask? Silly reader. How could I possibly take a picture of cake-eating when I've got my hands full with two pieces of my own?! Here is a representation: 

Don't judge me.

It was decided that we needed to work off the sugar in our systems and the most fun part of the day was had....

(I have got to tell you, games in the baby shower department REALLY need a make-over. Playing the 'melt different candy bars in  diapers to make it look like poop and then pass the diapers around and try to guess the candy' is a little outdated if you ask me.)

We kicked it up a notch and decorated onesies: 

The table filled with stamps, fabric paint, fabric markers and creative artists....

My mom had me draw a baby baseball player which she colored in, then she showed us all up by sewing a  baseball button on his hand....cheater! I didn't know props were allowed!

Baby Jack's big sister, Alli, created this masterpiece for her little brother. We're hoping the paint will dry by the time he actually gets here....in a month.

Even Grandma Pearl got in on the action.

You go Grandma Pearl!

Sure he may love you, Aunt Lorri,

but let's be honest he will probably love me MORE!!!

After much deliberating, Aunt Traci settled on a doggy design...

Where is my masterpiece you ask?

Notice my intense concentration on my onesie?

Ta-da! 

I realize the Harley looks like a motorcycle/buggy/4-wheeler hybrid, but if a baby is truly driving - how it looks it the LEAST of our worries.

For some reason, I just wasn't satisfied with that onesie. I thought and thought, it was then that I was struck with inspiration and came up with this little gem: 

.

.....No big deal.