Adventureland

I love adventures. I love experiencing or trying new things; and I don't even mind getting lost. I keep telling Chris we need to try out for the show, The Amazing Race, because we'd DOMINATE. Although, I can't (won't) eat the weird stuff, like cow udders, so that may take us out of the running.

The thing about me is I consider anything an adventure. Wal-mart? On a Saturday afternoon the day before Christmas?  YES! Who knows what kind of THINGS we'll see! Or WHO we will see!  

So when a new antique/collectibles store opened, and my mom said: "you wanna go?" I immediately JUMPED at the opportunity for a new adventure. I was not disappointed. In fact, I was shocked at how amazingly wonderful the place was. I kind of want to go back everyday and dig a little deeper.


For example:

Hey there...sexy lady. The doll not me.

Please ignore my weird pose. I was trying to match the creepiness of the button doll.

I 

I was most impressed to find these little cute painted gourds....

then I turned around to see this:

Ohhhhh Monkey lights! There are SO many things I want to decorate with you!

Let me just say: Button doll girl, gourds, and monkey lights were at the beginning of this adventure. When I realized there were rows and rows of hidden gems like these, I felt like crying tears of joy. It was then that I turned the corner and saw this:

WAIT. You mean to tell me there is such a thing as JOHN WAYNE TOILET PAPER?! What is this magical place?! Well how about this:

Hello cup dedicated to Missouri! Of course I want to drink from you!

Feeling overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the Missouri cup, I quickly rounded the corner and saw this:

Pottery Barn? How did you get in here?! I was very confused when I saw the above cool set up because literally I was just looking at this:

Just Orca whale hanging out with a Hot Wheels lunch box....

and when I thought things couldn't get any cooler in this mystical place, my eyes feasted upon this amazing piece of cinematic history:

A giant old school batman poster is cool enough by itself, but then I saw it was a part of this huge collection for sale: 

A whole section dedicated to McDonald's....?!

Ohhhh America. You and your obesity rates!

Even though I truly wanted one of everything in this new wonderland (even the Orca whale) there was only ONE thing that I regretted walking away from, and that is this guy:

but I just don't think he would fit on the fireplace mantle....

Programs, a baby and nose pickin' galore!

Remember in this post I told you about my sister-in-law going to give birth any day now? Remember that? Remember I even showed you how to host a totally incredible most amazing baby shower? Remember?! Well she did it. She went and had that baby boy, Jack, yesterday:

Hi baby Jack! That's a sweeeeeeet santa hat you're rockin'!

 I think Amanda is making a frown-ish face because Jack kept squeaking in possible discomfort (or cold) and wouldn't just open his mouth and tell us what he wanted....that or it could be that she just birthed a perfect human being perfectly and would like a nap and for me to stop taking a million pictures....mmmm....nah.

Since Amanda was a little busy with a new baby, SOMEONE needed to represent tonight at Alli's Christmas program. Enter: The Super bad-ass team of Uncle Chris, Aunt Jess and Nana! 

The view from my back porch tonight, told me it was going to be a BRILLIANT Christmas program.

Here's the thing: I'm a professional when it comes to these programs. Since kindergarten, I've had some school or extra-curricular activity that required showmanship and singing on my part:

and sometimes wrapping myself up as a present is necessary for the sake of the show....

Alli is just now getting into the time of Holiday programs in her academic career, and I'm just now getting to experience these programs as a spectator. Oh dear. 

Who knew it could bring out the worst in somebody......and by somebody I mean me.

You know how I suffer from the stupidity of other drivers, also known as 'Road Rage'? Evidently I suffer from 'crowd rage' as well:

Ok so it's crowded. That's fine. I can handle that. Right? RIGHT?! At least I have my own sea- Seriously 6'7 guy?! You have to sit RIGHT in front of ME?! Rude. 

Looking around, I realized something:

I hate all these people. 

Where is whistley when I need him!?

And then there was THIS lady: 

Ohhhh Grandma. You need to sit down RIGHT NOW. Quit standing up every 8 seconds to get a picture of your dumb grandchild. I'm sure Alli is way cuter anyways, and you're completely blocking her. Have you NEVER heard of 'crowd rage'!?

Fortunately, the cuteness of these darling little darlings singing their darling hearts out to darling songs AND waving like monkeys at their parents from the stage, melted my heart and distracted me from my Bruce Banner type anger.

What? You want to make a chocolate sundae for Santa? AND sing a song about hip-hop reindeer?! You're all just so cute! Look at you in your fancy santa hat picking your nose! What a doll!

Oh no. Are my eyes tricking me? What's that on the program? Could it be? A song written just for me? I think it might be....

IT IS! A SONG JUST FOR ME!

Seriously, this song describes my relationship with pizza with incredible accuracy.

Do you think it's available on iTunes??

The show was wonderful. Alli had her supreme team supporters to cheer her on, and she sang her little heart out like a boss. 

The only problem? The program ended, and everyone decided to leave at the same time: 

Welcome to my nightmare.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Interesting Facts:

Contrary to popular belief (basically just me) Joplin, Missouri is NOT named after that piano rag-time specialist extrordinare Scott Joplin (although there is a street named after him). It is named after Rev. Harris Joplin who is credited with starting the first "methodist congregation" in town. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am with this information. I mean really, who WOULDN'T want to live in a town named after the guy who played this:

 

LOVE IT.

At some point, I'm going to have to discuss my obsession with all things Disneyland, this reminds me of the penny arcade on Main Street. More on that later.

ANYWAYS, Joplin is a town of about 50,000 people. I kid you not, there is nowhere to eat. Well there are places, but that bitch F5 tornado took out one of my favorite's: Pizza by Stout. More about me: I am a pizza connoisseur and Pizza by Stout was in a league of it's own. Anyways, so anytime chris and I want to go eat somewhere we have to go through this whole annoying conversation that goes something like this:

Chris: What do you want?
Me: I don't care, what are you in the mood for?
Chris: I don't care.
Me (this is where I start to get annoyed): Well, what about sushi?
Chris: Nah, I'm not really in the mood for sushi. (then as a side note he adds:) It just never fills me up.
Me: Ok. Sushi is out. Italian?
Chris: Nooo, I don't really want to eat a lot of bread or pasta, it just sits in my stomach.
Me (REALLY GETTING ANNOYED): Ok Chinese?
Chris: Eh....
Me (reminding myself over and over to be patient. Be patient. Be patient): Fine. Buffalo Wild Wings?
Chris (thoughtfully): Noooo, that doesn't really sound good either....
Me (forgetting all previous thoughts of patience and yelling) : OH MY GOD!! YOU EFFING pick then.
Chris: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You don't have to get mad about it!
Me (snappishly): Everything I suggest you say no to so YOU pick! What the hell do you want to eat?!!?!
Chris: I really don't care.

                              I really want to be the Gorilla's fist at this point in the coversation.

I'm not joking. So this last Friday we decided to go out to eat (for the third day in a row). The conversation went like this:
Chris: Where do you want to eat?
Me (gearing up for another one of our stupid eating dialogues): Whatever. I don't care.
Chris: What about Mexican?
Me(shocked/awed/ecstatic): WHAT?! Really?! Oh God bless you! Bless you a million times over! May you have the joy of a billion beers in your lifetime!!
Chris (irritated not remotely amused): Really?
Me: Sorry. Yeah Mexican is cool.....I guess.

We ate Mexican. We ate it happily and voraciously and we drank the biggest beer and margaritas I've ever seen and life is good.

Let's be honest, I'd argue with him over where to eat everyday as long as it meant I was the one sitting across the table from him.