Do you have a secret?

Remember in this post how I told you the first time Chris told me loved me was right after if I asked if he had any secrets? I've always loved a good secret (or a good conspiracy theory), but I recently learned that it is important to understand you may not always get a secret you're mentally, emotionally or physically prepared for. Please enjoy the clip below, recorded over Christmas Break of my husband and brother:

I had no idea that could be classified as a secret......

In honor of these two, I'm working on a post for you that I like to call: "I live with boys..." Stay tuned.

Notes:

Ok. Here's the thing, have you seen this picture? Women seriously lost their minds over the idea of 'fun spontaneity' with their spouse:

The caption of this said: "I plan on being a really fun wife."

Every time I saw this stupid picture (which seemed to be EVERYWHERE), I wanted (still do) to point out:

1) Her 7th grade grammar error

B) The fact that she says: 'Two things' and then goes on to list 3 things

3) This dude just got off of work- give the poor guy a beer and let him watch Sports Center for 30 minutes before you try to be cute and attack him with Nerf darts....

Maybe it's the tomboy in me that thinks: 'Oh sweet, silly, naive lady.... how in the hell are you going to have a proper Nerf gun war IN YOUR HOUSE? You wait until dark, wear some black clothing, hide behind a car and sniper that ass, Call of Duty style, while yelling: "TAKE NO PRISONERS!"'  

Maybe I should take a page out of this person's note writing book because these are the kinds of notes I leave MY husband: 

The John Wayne magnet makes it that much more motivating....

and this is TOTALLY the kind of note I'll leave when I'm a mom....

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Wal-Mart! Why do you hate me!?

I REALLY like to shop at our local Farmer's Market, but since they don't carry necessities like snickers, cheetos, oreos, beef jerkey,  Diet Dr. Pepper (that's what keeps it all in check, baby!), etc. I get to go to Wal-Mart...hooray! I should tell you that I'm typing all of this with my LEFT hand because my RIGHT hand suffered a trauma while I was shopping. What happened, you ask?
My story, for you, in pictures:

 Here was my expectation of what my shopping experience would  be like today:

"Helllooooo local grocer man! My fellow females and I are SO happy to be here right now, and in heels!"

But really, I was like this:

"HEEYYY everyone! I may be smiling, but GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY, or I will run you over with my battering ram on wheels also known as a shopping cart! Move it grandma. "

I shopped with grace and dignity, wisely contemplating my choices:

Can you explain, to me, why all these woman feel the need to touch their face while shopping?

Here is what I really looked like:

Chris! You want me to buy WHAT!?!?

Little did I know, while I was minding my own business deciding between peppered beef jerkey or teryaki beef jerkey, there was an electric current following me; getting stronger and stronger .....

..... this electric current had sneakily been building and building, just waiting to strike.....

And as I merrily reached for my Club crackers, accidentally touching the metal shelf, the current showed no mercy and.......

ZAP!

*No lie: an electric current started in my fingers and zinged it's way up into my heart making me audibly yell : "AHHH!!! WHAT THE *%$&# was that?!"*

I almost cried. I started to call Chris to say:

"Hi honey?! I was harshly and unjustly electrocuted today by Wal-Mart so don't be surprised when you come home to no dinner. Yes dear, just pick something up on the way."

But I didn't.  I didn't call him because....

.....I didn't want to let it slip that the shock to my hand was so traumatic, he'd really be coming home from work, to this:

Strawberry fields for Trevor......

The other day we were listening to some classic tunes on the radio when  "Drift Away", the classic  Doobie Brothers version, graced our ears. If you don't know this beloved hippie song, the chorus sings: "Ohhh give me the beat boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away....." I realized, as we were rocking out to this hit, that I still sing the wrong version.  For the longest time, I really thought the lyrics said: "Ohhh give me the Beach Boys and feed my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll...." 


Why the Doobie Brothers needed the Beach Boys to feed their souls is beyond me, but I started thinking....what other great songs have been butchered by us mere mortals? What I found was nothing short of wonderful.  Sunday, while Chris was zoning out to football, I used my artistic skills to explore the notion of misheard lyrics:

Did you know that the Bee Gee's disco hit, 'Stayin' Alive', often gets mistaken for:

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Steak and a knife! Steak and a knife!"

You guys are so silly! The Beatles song says 'she's got a TICKET to ride'! Not 'a CHICKEN to ride'!

Apparently the 70's were abundant with misheard lyrics, because Abba's 'Dancing Queen' lyrics  '...feel the beat of the tambourine' gets mistaken for  '....feel the beat of the tangerine.' I decided if you wanted to hear the beat of the tangerine, it would probably look like this:

The banana wanted to name their band 'Fruit cakes', but the tangerine like the sound of 'Runts' better.....

And some people in the world think the well known Aerosmith song, 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' is REALLY saying:

"Ya! Ya! Dooo the cyclone lady! " Isn't she classy-such a lady!

And finally, a recent song. One that I was personally singing incorrectly for months, by Adele. When SHE was crooning: "Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavement?" I was crooning:

"Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing paper?"

This is a fun game, isn't it?!

Adventureland

I love adventures. I love experiencing or trying new things; and I don't even mind getting lost. I keep telling Chris we need to try out for the show, The Amazing Race, because we'd DOMINATE. Although, I can't (won't) eat the weird stuff, like cow udders, so that may take us out of the running.

The thing about me is I consider anything an adventure. Wal-mart? On a Saturday afternoon the day before Christmas?  YES! Who knows what kind of THINGS we'll see! Or WHO we will see!  

So when a new antique/collectibles store opened, and my mom said: "you wanna go?" I immediately JUMPED at the opportunity for a new adventure. I was not disappointed. In fact, I was shocked at how amazingly wonderful the place was. I kind of want to go back everyday and dig a little deeper.


For example:

Hey there...sexy lady. The doll not me.

Please ignore my weird pose. I was trying to match the creepiness of the button doll.

I 

I was most impressed to find these little cute painted gourds....

then I turned around to see this:

Ohhhhh Monkey lights! There are SO many things I want to decorate with you!

Let me just say: Button doll girl, gourds, and monkey lights were at the beginning of this adventure. When I realized there were rows and rows of hidden gems like these, I felt like crying tears of joy. It was then that I turned the corner and saw this:

WAIT. You mean to tell me there is such a thing as JOHN WAYNE TOILET PAPER?! What is this magical place?! Well how about this:

Hello cup dedicated to Missouri! Of course I want to drink from you!

Feeling overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the Missouri cup, I quickly rounded the corner and saw this:

Pottery Barn? How did you get in here?! I was very confused when I saw the above cool set up because literally I was just looking at this:

Just Orca whale hanging out with a Hot Wheels lunch box....

and when I thought things couldn't get any cooler in this mystical place, my eyes feasted upon this amazing piece of cinematic history:

A giant old school batman poster is cool enough by itself, but then I saw it was a part of this huge collection for sale: 

A whole section dedicated to McDonald's....?!

Ohhhh America. You and your obesity rates!

Even though I truly wanted one of everything in this new wonderland (even the Orca whale) there was only ONE thing that I regretted walking away from, and that is this guy:

but I just don't think he would fit on the fireplace mantle....

We did it again....

I'm really not one for sleeping. I do like sleeping-when I can actually FALL asleep. My dad says when I was a baby and they put me down for a nap, I would lay in my crib and kick kick kick the wall just waiting until I was allowed to get up. Fortunately, I learned to read and my nights and naps from kindergarten on were more entertaining.

After many nights reading Nancy Drew by flashlight and knowing the dastardly villain was in my bedroom closet, I finally made it to college (where I still read Nancy Drew by flashlight). This is where I met some of my very best friends. I was happy to spend my sleepless nights with them by solving the world's problems. Typical bedtime: 5 or 6 a.m. YIKES.

Mainly these two awesome folks. Yes, that is my little smooshy face in the background...

When I say 'solving the world's problems', I mean we debated how Harry Potter would end and which characters we would invite to a dinner party all the while having Pirates of the Carribean marathons.

So you would think that being an official adult now and having graduated college 5 years ago, those late nights would be no more. You would be wrong. By the way, did you see the sun rise this morning? It was lovely!

I blame these guys: 

That's right: My husband, my brother and our best friend, Jordan. 

and this:

I also blame this for my double chin.

 It's not that we start the day and say: "Hey! Let's stay up REALLY late tonight and feel like ass tomorrow! Yay!" It just kind of happens. All kinds of things happen, and I try to document these shenanigans as best as I can. For example:

Christian gets annoyed when I film and/or take pictures constantly. Yes that is my cluttered fridge, you should see the inside.

Last night was NOT this exciting,  but we still solved quite a few of the world's problems. 

Over Christmas break we made a movie aaaand stayed up until 6am. Here are a few pictures of what it looks like when we make a movie (of course costumes are involved): 

Patrick's shirt says: He's formal, but he likes to party.

Not only were these possible costume choices, but Chris' weekend attire.

Can you believe I am blood related to this guy? Yeah..I know....you totally can.

I am also blood related to this handsome fella....

I think he was saying: "huh? I can't hear you over the awesomeness of this tight Hawaiian shirt."

So it being Saturday night, I say: why not stay up solving the world's problems, or exchanging crazy stories or even making weird movies that only you think are hilarious? You only live once, ya know.

Anyways, I gotta take a nap....

Where my heart is....

 

At a Chief's game (next year boys, next year).

 In Washington, D.C. riding segways

Standing in front of my castle at Walt Disney World....

Getting ready to go into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy....

Eating a double-double animal style with a chocolate shake from the best place ever: IN-N-OUT

At the drive-in on a balmy summer night....

and my heart is:

  in Colorado with these fine folks....except the dog, sorry Hershey.

It's going to a Britney Spears concert: LOOK OUT!

and watching my sister-in-law getting married

and it's hanging out with this girl. 

  My heart is always with this boy:

and most definitely with this girl:

But no matter where my heart is scattered, there's only ONE place I want to be....especially with this nice weather, and that place is here:

You can come to if you want...